A hallmark of my coaching philosophy is simple ways out of pesky problems. One such personal pest was my New Year’s Resolutions. I’d launch each New Year boldly declaring to change something about myself or a situation in life. (Getting regular exercise. Working less and playing more. Same income in fewer work hours.) I’d start with such hope and motivation for my “transformation”. Then, over a matter of days and weeks, my desire to be and do better faded into not doing what I said I’d do. I began my pattern of worry, recriminations, renewed efforts, and more broken promises. Eventually, the resolution would disappear from my consciousness. However, I would never free myself from the obligation and revoke my promise to myself. I’d add it to the list of things to feel guilty about thus feeding my “not good enough” monster a high calorie diet!
Sound familiar? If this hits home, what’s missing? What’s a simple way to more satisfaction?
What is missing? My guess is that you like me are confusing your New Year’s Resolution (or any desire) with a promise. For example, I should… I hope… If only I could… I need to… I must… are NOT promises. They are instead powerful starters for our transforming. What will help us cross the finish line to satisfaction? Turn desires into promises made and promises fulfilled.
What’s a simple way to more satisfaction? If the waits been too long, here’s an idea to help your resolutions become reality:
- Treat your desire or resolution like a promise to yourself.
- From…I should… I hope… If only I could… I need to… I must…,
- To… I will do __________ by _________ (date or time.)
- Put it on your calendar, organizer, time management system, To Do list.
- Do what you said you would do and on time. In other words, keep your promise to yourself.
Still breaking your promise to your self?
Find someone to be an accountability partner. Who wouldn’t you dare break a promise to? Ask them to support you in doing what you say
My personal trick… I set a consequence for breaking the promise so unthinkable, I wouldn’t dare break my promise. (After my repeated missed deadlines, my writing coach asked me how much money I’d hate to waste. I said $500. She asked me which politician I’d NEVER donate $ to. She said to send her a check for $500 made out to the politician’s campaign. Here’s the kicker… If I missed the writing deadline to her, she’d mail the check. If I met the deadline, she’d tear up the check. I was 3 days early with THAT promise and we had such a good laugh. Whatever works!
Still not fulfilling it?
- Revoke it. Yes! Take it back.
- Free yourself.
- Make a new promise NOT to do what you resolved. (I promise not to do _______ by _________.
